Because The Real News Sucks Ass With A Bendy Straw

DROP ME A LINE

Tuesday, April 3, 2007


TELETUBBIES SUCK!


 

Monday, April 2, 2007


SIBLING RIVALRY SUCKS!



Thursday, March 29, 2007


SHOWING UP FOR A PIE PARTY ONLY TO FIND OUT IT'S A PI PARTY SUCKS!



Wednesday, March 28, 2007


GRAVITY SUCKS!



Tuesday, March 27, 2007


STAMPEDES SUCK!


 

Monday, September 11, 2006


CRAZY ASS SQUIRRELS SUCK !

Ok, so I went outside and I heard this really strange noise. It took me a couple minutes to pinpoint exactly where it was coming from but I finally looked up and there he was. This crazy ass squirrel, just sitting there making this strange noise. He was up there for about 20 minutes just making that noise and not moving. The whole time I was shooting this I was fully expecting him to launch off the roof, grab onto my head and start tearing my face off. Yeah, didn't happen.
(if you are having trouble viewing this video you are probably using Internet Explorer and I don't really care enough to investigate why. I mean, if you are using IE you probably just settle for crap anyway and my stuff is too awesome for some crappy browser. Get Firefox or something, then come talk to me)


 

Friday, August 25, 2006


BEING CROTCH HUGGED BY TOM CRUISE SUCKS!


 

Thursday, August 24, 2006


BEING A STAND IN SUCKS!


 

Wednesday, August 23, 2006


GIVING UP YOUR FAVORITE BASEBALL SUCKS!


 

Tuesday, August 22, 2006


APPLYING LIPSTICK FROM THE INSIDE SUCKS!


 

Wednesday, June 28, 2006


FLOODS SUCK!


 

Tuesday, June 27, 2006


PLAYING KEEP AWAY FROM A TURTLE SUCKS!


 

Monday, June 26, 2006


CLEANING MY SUPER STREAM OFF YOUR SHOES SUCKS!


 

Thursday, June 22, 2006


WET WILLIES SUCK!


 

Wednesday, June 21, 2006


GETTING CAUGHT ON CAMERA SUCKS!


 

Tuesday, June 20, 2006


HAVING WEIRD FRIENDS SUCKS!


 

Monday, June 19, 2006


THAT GEORGE ISN'T WEARING DEODORANT SUCKS!


 

Friday, June 16, 2006


ICE CREAM STEALING SUMO WRESTLERS SUCK!


 

Wednesday, June 7, 2006


TELLING TURTLES THEY CAN FLY SUCKS!



Tuesday, June 6, 2006


PAPER CUTS SUCK!


 

Monday, June 5, 2006


LEMMINGS SUCK!


Sunday, June 4, 2006


FINDING YOUR HAT SUCKS!


 

 

Tuesday, May 2, 2006


SCARY PENGUIN, DUCK, WHATEVER COSTUMES SUCK!


 

Monday, May 1, 2006


INVASIVE SNAILS SUCK!


 

Thursday, April 27, 2006


WEARING DEAD BIRDS SUCKS!


 

Wednesday, April 26, 2006


TRYING TO FIND THE BATHROOM IN SUPERMAN'S HOUSE SUCKS!



Tuesday, April 25, 2006


NUKULER MELTDOWNS SUCK!



Monday, April 24, 2006


OSAMA SUCKS!


 

Wednesday, April 19, 2006


43-YEAR-OLD FRUITCAKES SUCK!


 

Tuesday, April 18, 2006


ALLERGIES SUCK!


 

Monday, April 17, 2006


OIL PRICES SETTLING ABOVE $70 A BARREL SUCKS!


 

Friday, April 14, 2006


USING DISNEY'S NEW ORLEANS AS A BACKDROP FOR YOUR NEW ORLEANS MAYORAL CAMPAIGN PHOTO SUCKS!

The Actual Site (well, for now at least)


 

Tuesday, April 11, 2006


COUNTING CHANGE IN SUBZERO TEMPERATURES SUCKS!


 

Monday, April 10, 2006


SUING DAN BROWN SUCKS!


 

Wednesday, April 5, 2006


BEING A TREAT FOR AN EWOK SUCKS!
(Thanks to Nicole V.)



 

Tuesday, April 4, 2006


SHOWING YOUR BAJINGO TO A BUNCH OF 8 YEAR OLDS AT THE KIDS' CHOICE AWARDS SUCKS!



 

Monday, April 3, 2006


PEEING A LITTLE DURING YOUR GYMNASTICS ROUTINE SUCKS!



 

Thursday, March 30, 2006


BEING AN 18 HOUR DRIVE AWAY FROM THE BABY PYGMY HIPPO SUCKS!



Wednesday, March 29, 2006


BEING ON THE GIANT FLOWER TESTICLE DECORATING COMMITTEE SUCKS!



 

 

Friday, March 24, 2006


LEPRECHAUNS SUCK!

Who all seen the leprechaun say YEAAAHHH!


 

Thursday, March 23, 2006


FRENCH PEOPLE SUCK!



 

Monday, March 20, 2006


MARCH MADNESS SUCKS!


Thanks, Jen!


 

Friday, March 17, 2006


PEOPLE WHO DON'T WEAR GREEN TODAY SUCK!



 

Wednesday, March 15, 2006


GETTING BLUED SUCKS!



 

Tuesday, March 14, 2006


SCALING BACK MAD COW TESTING
WHILE ANNOUNCING A NEW CASE IN ALABAMA SUCKS!



 

Monday, March 13, 2006


KILLING YOUR WIFE SUCKS!



 

Thursday, March 9, 2006


RELAXING RULES ON ENDANGERED TURTLES SUCKS!



 

Wednesday, March 8, 2006


CHEERLEADERS SUCK!



Tuesday, March 7, 2006


SNEEZING SUCKS!



Monday, March 6, 2006


BEING MOCKED BY A MONKEY SUCKS!



Friday, March 3, 2006


FLORIDA NAZIS SUCK!



 

Thursday, March 2, 2006


WORLD BASEBALL SUCKS!



Wednesday, March 1, 2006


FEMA SUCKS!



Tuesday, February 28, 2006


BEING MOLESTED IN A BUNNY SUIT ALL MARDI GRAS DAY SUCKS!



 

 

Friday, February 24, 2006


BEES SUCK!



 

Thursday, February 23, 2006


THE UAE TAKING OVER PORTS SUCKS!



 

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


DEFENDING THE KATRINA RESPONSE SUCKS!



 

Wednesday, February 15, 2006


BEING A COMPLETE IDIOT SUCKS!



 

Tuesday, February 14, 2006


PEOPLE WHO DON'T SEND ME HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EMAILS SUCK!



 

Monday, February 13, 2006


RECORD BREAKING SNOWSTORMS SUCK!



 

 

Wednesday, February 8, 2006


U2 WINNING 14 (catorce) GRAMMY AWARDS SUCKS!



 

Tuesday, February 7, 2006


STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESSES RUINING MY TV NIGHT SUCKS!



 

Monday, February 6, 2006


MESSING UP YOUR DANCE ROUTINE IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE COURTROOM SUCKS!



 

Friday, February 3, 2006


ENRON SUCKS!



 

Thursday, February 2, 2006


FINDING OUT A GROUNDHOG IS NOTHING BUT A BIG RAT SUCKS!



 

Monday, January 30, 2006


RADIOACTIVE NUCLEAR WASTE SUCKS!




Tuesday, January 24, 2006


NO SHIT! MY DESIGN ON THE TIMES PICAYUNE FRONT PAGE!
(Of course I get no props but, hey, those that matter know, right?)

GET YOURS HERE!



 

Monday, January 23, 2006


FORD LAYOFFS SUCK!


 

Friday, January 20, 2006


SAUSAGE CAR WASHES SUCK!


 

Thursday, January 19, 2006


GIVING A TREE A LIFT TO WORK SUCKS!


 

Monday, January 16, 2006


HAVING MEAN PARENTS SUCKS!


 

Friday, January 13, 2006


A KNEE TO THE CROTCH SUCKS!

 


 

Thursday, January 12, 2006


BEING A POODLE SUCKS!

 


 

Tuesday, January 10, 2006


BOMBING STARBUCKS SUCKS!

 


Monday, January 9, 2006


USING DOGS FOR LOCOMOTION SUCKS!

 


 

 

Saturday, January 7, 2006


BEING IN A BEARSICLE SUCKS!

 


 

Friday, January 6, 2006


HAVING MAN BOOBS SUCKS!

 



Thursday, January 5, 2006


CANDY THROWING KINGS SUCK!

 


 

Wednesday, January 4, 2006


IRANI NUKES SUCK!

 


 

Click here for the
2005 Archive